This is not a Free Book! It’s two!

Oof, remember when spam emails started with “This is not spam!” as a header? Well this is me letting you know that my seasonal festive poem The Christmas Santa Slept is definitely free on Kindle right now, and will be until the weekend. If that’s spam, then I guess I’m making fritters.

So this link should take you to the most appropriate Amazon store for your region. If you don’t like Amazon and don’t want to support the almighty Bezos giant, fair play to you, drop me an email reply this week and I’ll send you The Christmas Santa Slept as a nice little PDF instead.

What happens when Santa sleeps through Christmas Day? The Christmas Santa Slept is the story of one such year, a heart-warming and hilarious tale of friendship, love, and charity, featuring a full cast of familiar characters, including Mrs Claus, Jack Frost, The Nutcracker, The Little Drummer Boy, The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, a legion of Snowmen (and Snow-women!), The Gingerbread Man, and of course… Santa Claus himself.

Since I’m feeling generous, you should also know that my John Green parody The Fault In Our Arse is also free on Kindle this week. If you like fart jokes, spicy food puns, and cheapshots at contemporary fiction tropes, you can pick up a copy here, or again – email me and I’ll send you a PDF.

I’ve written the start of a little piece on the pressures that Christmas traditions can put on us, and the relief that comes from letting them and the people involved in them go, which you can expect to see in your inbox during the holidays. Also in case you missed it, I had a few rather dramatic words to say recently about forcing yourself to take part in Secret Santa, which you can read here.

Other than that, have a great festive period and a great new year (have you noticed this new trend of people saying “and a better new year”? I feel like they’re telling me to have an average Christmas by comparison).

I hope you are well

P.S I have 12 days “off” from my dayjob for the holidays. That’s 12 days of writing. Or computer games and alcohol. Or a panicked combination of all three and more. Watch this space!

P.P.S. Remember that as a member of this community, only you will get the opportunity to pick up 500ish Days In The Quiet Room at a scarily low introductory price, and after launch only you will get a digital copy of the companion collection All Better Now for absolutely free!