Curly Food Tastes Better: TOAST

And so it came to pass that I wondered what makes curly fries so much better than chips, crisps, vodka, or mash, and realised it must be one thing and one thing alone. They are curly. Could all foods be made better by rendering them curly? And if not, could a lot of fun be had trying?
Seems like a bit of a challenge, doesn’t it? Take one of the flattest foods available and make it curly? Challenge accepted. Some recently purchased kebab skewers proved invaluable, even if they were a little too long and needed snapping.


First things first I figured I should save myself a logistical nightmare by spreading the toast before shaping it. I went with a jalapeno and garlic spread, because unlike Anthony Ogogo, I don’t have a sensitive mouth.


I was using extra thick white bread, which proved stubbornly inflexible. So while the oven warmed up to 180°C (355°F), I soaked the bread in a shallow dish of water to make it more pliable, and soaked the kebab sticks too to stop them catching fire, even if I was 96°F away from the spontaneous combustion point of wood..


With the oven almost ready and the bread almost floppy, I set about curling the slices and fixing them steady with the kebab sticks. I think I may have soaked them a little too long, since curling the slices any tighter made me feel like they would rip or just slough away.


Voila! Forty wholly necessary minutes of baking later, the finished product. They held their shape well.


They held their shape REALLY well! That’s curly food!


The end result, sliced up for a good nomming. The crusts did rather well, but the middle pieces unravelled and became more like folded food than curly food. I’m thinking of trying this with two end-of-loaf pieces next time. Maybe at my as-yet-to-exist Annual Curly Food Party.

So! Not as accomplished as curly bacon, I’ll admit, and it took an hour or two longer, but pretty damn tasty in the end. As always I’m open to ideas for other foods I can attempt to make curly, so if you have any suggestions please drop them in comments below!